It Starts With You
If you are in the process of divorce or separating from your partner, naturally you are concerned about how the situation will impact your children. If handled poorly, it is true that divorce can negatively affect your children. However, you have the ability to significantly reduce this impact by making a concerted effort to ensure that your children continue to feel safe, secure, and loved. How you handle yourself during your divorce will play a huge role in how the children respond, even as the family structure is changing.
Staying Together is Not Always Better
When facing divorce, couples often wonder, “Should we stay together for the kids?” Despite the fact that divorce is difficult, staying together for the sake of the children may not be a good idea after all. Studies show that children who live in homes with conflict and hostility are actually at a higher risk for developing their own mental health issues and behavioral problems. Children do better with well-adjusted parents who are respectful to each other, rather than resentful, even if it means that they no longer live in the same household. Many times parents find divorce is the healthiest option for everyone involved. Once you have resolved that in your mind, don’t continue to second guess yourself or carry unnecessary guilt.
Tips for Parents
As a team of experienced and compassionate family law attorneys, Hulse Law Firm understands the variety of highly charged issues that accompany divorce. It is not easy to control emotions and navigate through the various situations that arise. Based upon years of experience working with our clients, we have a few recommendations to help you and your children cope with divorce and the changing family dynamics.
- Explain your decision to the children, and if possible, both parents should do it together. Do not place blame and don’t go into too many specifics or explanations that the children are too young to understand.
- Even if it is difficult to control your emotions, avoid negativity and don’t fight in front of your children. If you need to have a discussion with your ex, and especially if you think that conversation may result in an argument, do it at a time and in a place where you can’t be overheard.
- Don’t involve the children in any of the personal and legal issues of your divorce. Seek help from a therapist to work out the emotional transitions. Discussions about child custody, visitation, child support, and other legal matters should remain with your lawyer.
- Create a good co-parenting relationship and one that encourages the children’s relationship with their other parent. In most instances, children benefit from maintaining close relationships with both parents. However, if you believe that it is unsafe for your children to visit with their other parent, immediately speak with an attorney from Hulse Law Firm about your options to protect them.
- Never attempt to punish the other parent by withholding child support, preventing your children’s other parent from seeing the children, or by stopping your own visitations, even if you feel hurt or angry. Always make decisions in the best interests of your children.
- Try to keep the children’s routines as normal as possible even though there will be an adjustment as the children learn to adapt to going between two homes.
- Keep as consistent a lifestyle as possible. Don’t try to overcompensate with gifts or privileges for your children that are outside of your family’s norm.
Contact Hulse Law Firm for Family Law Representation
Whatever your questions are with regard to ensuring the welfare of your children during a divorce, put your mind at ease by contacting Hulse Law Firm. We understand every situation is unique. Each of your questions and concerns are valid and deserve to be addressed. We are here to listen and provide expert counsel on the best course of action and on your rights as a parent. Remember the importance of reassuring the children that they are loved, even though their parents may be going their separate ways. Help your children look forward to a happy, healthy and positive future. Call us today!